It looked like this, all the time, and was very cold. |
And that's when the dream hatched. I started writing a list of the things I wanted to do. Ride the trans-Siberian railway. See penguins. Work on a farm on a continent I'd never been to before. Bike across China. Do a backcountry snowboarding tour in the Andes...then, snowboard on every continent. The list went on for days, weeks, and has continued to grow. My bucket list. My travel list.
My S.O. at the time and I pledged that before marriage, before kids, after graduating with our Ph.D.s, we'd take a year to travel the world together and check off as many of our list items as we could.
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The relationship ended (fairly amicably) a year later.
Not long after that, I met a kindred spirit who, on our first date, started to tell me about his dream for once he graduated--it was nearly identical to mine. We spent the next year and a half dreaming up our travel and life plans together before that relationship, too, ended (significantly less amicably), leaving me with a very badly broken heart.
I had never traveled alone for more than a few days. The thought of traveling around the world alone scared me. I'm an introvert who doesn't like to be alone--is that weird? In addition, a tough two years of one medical issue after another significantly drained the Travel Fund that I had worked so hard to save for. I gave up on being able to do it. I was depressed, restless, unable to commit to or get excited about anything.
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That person (my advisor) was incredibly supportive, as were other people I was close to as I started to feel more comfortable talking about what I really wanted to do. Suddenly the sun started to come out, I started to get excited, I realized that I don't need a boyfriend or a full savings account or any other suite of excuses to travel. I may not make it around the world or snowboard on seven continents, but I can do a snowboard tour in the Andes (stop #1), backpack at the end of the world (stop #2), and work on a farm on a continent I've never been to before (stop #3?). And we'll see where it goes from there.
Seven or so months later, I am days away from leaving. I am unspeakably, deeply, buzzing in my bones excited. I am also terrified, but in a good "this is going to be an adventure" way. I like doing things that terrify me. I need to do things that terrify me. It reminds me that I am, alone, capable and tougher than I sometimes think. But I won't be alone: I'll meet people along the way, I always do. And I'm not alone: I have an incredible network of people who love and inspire me every day, even when I'm miles or thousands of miles away. To all of you: stay in touch, and I look forward to sharing my adventure!
Much love,
Carie